Showing posts with label Critique. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Critique. Show all posts
Monday, July 21, 2008
Critique - Walk cycle
Hey,
the ball holding hand:
I don't know if it's the pop in the quicktime loop or not. But it feels like that almost towards the end of the swing, the arm accelerates a bit and then there's a pop. But again, that could be the loop.
ball holding raquet:
frontview: I should have mentioned that before, sorry, but can you lower the tip of the raquet after x1 into x10? If you look at the arm and arm movement it looks like it swings forward into that position, then swings back the same way. You want to keep the arc going and one way would be to lower the tennis raquet after the forward swing.
Something about the feet:
There is still some funkiness: Look at frame 0, then 1. The back foot is barely moving backwards (it should be even spacing as it goes back). Same thing from x3 to 4. Then x4 to 5 the foot just lifts up but the rotation (with the tip of the foot going down) is not happening. You have it at x7, but it should be a smooth transition into that. I can show you in class, remind me to act it out.
Same with the other one at x16 to 17 with barely any movement back, then a lift up with no rotation and then rotation sets in. You can also delay the rotation (moving the foot tip up) at x22, rotate the foot down a bit (same with the other one at x10).
Almost there!!
Cheers
JD
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Critique - Walk
(quick critique - I'm on the road)
I can't use Maya on my laptop here (I'm not at home), so I can't check your file. But judging by the clip it looks like there is a looping problem. Usually in a cycle your first and last frame are the same, so when you playblast the movie, you need to cut off the last frame. For example, your cycle goes from 1 to 45, then playblast 1 to 44.
Sideview first:
Make sure that your extreme poses are correct, so with a walk it's the extended leg pose and your passing pose.
So frame 0 looks correct as the extended leg pose, but your passing pose is off, that's where the trouble begins. Even when checking over multiple poses, the passing one is off. x6 should have his left leg extended (so the body should be higher). Timewise it should be around x8 or 9.
Also, the walk has to be always moving. The feet have to take a step, so the move forward, once they hit the ground, they have to move backwards. But you have x0, where the front foot seems to touch the ground. But until x4 your front foot (and back one to an extend) is not moving.
Look at your feet rotation as it lifts. From x13 to around x19 the orientation stays pretty much the same. Make sure that you make it look like the foot pushes off the ground and then rotates back up.
Frontview:
Now, after having fixed what I mentioned above, it will all change, but what stands out right now is that your hip weight shift is not there. So look at x8, where the weight is on the screen right leg, so your hip on the right side should be up and down on the left. And don't forget to add little left and right overall body movement as the body shifts the weight over each leg.
I can't use Maya on my laptop here (I'm not at home), so I can't check your file. But judging by the clip it looks like there is a looping problem. Usually in a cycle your first and last frame are the same, so when you playblast the movie, you need to cut off the last frame. For example, your cycle goes from 1 to 45, then playblast 1 to 44.
Sideview first:
Make sure that your extreme poses are correct, so with a walk it's the extended leg pose and your passing pose.
So frame 0 looks correct as the extended leg pose, but your passing pose is off, that's where the trouble begins. Even when checking over multiple poses, the passing one is off. x6 should have his left leg extended (so the body should be higher). Timewise it should be around x8 or 9.
Also, the walk has to be always moving. The feet have to take a step, so the move forward, once they hit the ground, they have to move backwards. But you have x0, where the front foot seems to touch the ground. But until x4 your front foot (and back one to an extend) is not moving.
Look at your feet rotation as it lifts. From x13 to around x19 the orientation stays pretty much the same. Make sure that you make it look like the foot pushes off the ground and then rotates back up.
Frontview:
Now, after having fixed what I mentioned above, it will all change, but what stands out right now is that your hip weight shift is not there. So look at x8, where the weight is on the screen right leg, so your hip on the right side should be up and down on the left. And don't forget to add little left and right overall body movement as the body shifts the weight over each leg.
Critique - Ollie
(quick critique - I'm on the road)
The beginning looks good, but right when it hits the ground (where's the frame counter?) it slows down very quickly, but speeds up after that. Check that your translation curve doesn't have crazy hiccups.
What looks weird is the jump. First, it's too fast. The up is working the best, the hangtime needs to be longer and the drop needs to be longer. The front foot also needs to be more in the middle of the board before the ollie (he needs to adjust the foot before the ollie) and end it where you have it now.
The beginning looks good, but right when it hits the ground (where's the frame counter?) it slows down very quickly, but speeds up after that. Check that your translation curve doesn't have crazy hiccups.
What looks weird is the jump. First, it's too fast. The up is working the best, the hangtime needs to be longer and the drop needs to be longer. The front foot also needs to be more in the middle of the board before the ollie (he needs to adjust the foot before the ollie) and end it where you have it now.
Critique - Walk
(quick critique - I'm on the road)
Ok, two things stand out, the head has no overlap, it's moving/rotating down as the body moves down. When the body goes down, the head needs to come down a few frames later.
The other thing is your body in the front view, there is still no left to right movement. So when the screen right leg is off the ground, move the body screen left so that the weight is over the screen left leg. Then when the screen left leg is off the ground, you move the body over screen right.
Ok, two things stand out, the head has no overlap, it's moving/rotating down as the body moves down. When the body goes down, the head needs to come down a few frames later.
The other thing is your body in the front view, there is still no left to right movement. So when the screen right leg is off the ground, move the body screen left so that the weight is over the screen left leg. Then when the screen left leg is off the ground, you move the body over screen right.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Critique - Walk
Looks good! I really like how (in the side view) the upper body/neck/head movement works.
What I'm missing in the front view is more hip action, showing the weight distribution from leg to leg.
I would also relax the index and middle finger more, give the hand/fingers a more relaxed posed, right now all the fingers are cupped the same way.
What sticks out the most to me in the front view are his arms, they don't feel like they are finishing the arcs on the forward swing.
Careful with overextending the legs. Check his right leg on x17, then x18. It goes from bent to super straight. You can see the pop in the front view. Same with the other leg. Also, don't slow down the translation of the feet as they go back. You slow down towards x11 with little spacing between each frame and then suddenly a bigger difference from x12 to x13. It's even more apparent looking at the other foot from x23 to 0.
But again, really nice feel in the upper body.
What I'm missing in the front view is more hip action, showing the weight distribution from leg to leg.
I would also relax the index and middle finger more, give the hand/fingers a more relaxed posed, right now all the fingers are cupped the same way.
What sticks out the most to me in the front view are his arms, they don't feel like they are finishing the arcs on the forward swing.
Careful with overextending the legs. Check his right leg on x17, then x18. It goes from bent to super straight. You can see the pop in the front view. Same with the other leg. Also, don't slow down the translation of the feet as they go back. You slow down towards x11 with little spacing between each frame and then suddenly a bigger difference from x12 to x13. It's even more apparent looking at the other foot from x23 to 0.
But again, really nice feel in the upper body.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Critique - Ork Attack
Ok, thoughts about the clip.
Overall it's really cool! Good to see some creature action for a change. Animation wise it feels a bit too pose to pose. I think you could make it more fluid.
Let's start with the Ork.
There is nice weight in the swing, but the body feels like it's moving in three separate timing blocks. First stop is around x19, second one stops around x26 (upper chest rotation in Y just stops), then the third block starts at around x30 with the upper swing. You can sense three stops during all this part. You can see it with the timing of the upper body, the arms, the weapon, etc.
I like the double bounce, nice little touch, but I would rotate the body back as he is doing that, throughout the whole swing down anticipation. So on x45, looking at that pose, you could push it and really arc his body back in a C curve, instead of having him straight up, from the leg up to the upper body.
The weapon has a weird bounce. On x60 it hits the ground, the goes up on x61 which is fine, but then goes down again for 3 frames. That gives it a soft finish, I think you could make that impact harder.
From the moment the Ork gets stabbed in the leg, you get that fragmented animation feel again. First his body rotates with a big movement in his arm, then his body and head go up, then the leg moves out, then he falls down, and stops suddenly at x96 (need more follow through with the head).
Once he looks up, the head stays locked again. It should follow the action of the human a bit more.
After he gets stabbed I would have him roar a bit sooner, pretty much after the impact. Here too it feels too separated. First the stab, then the scream.
But otherwise there is a lot of nice finger and toe detail.
Human:
Overall there are nice poses, but he feels even more segmented like the Ork, too pose to pose. In detail:
Body wise, there's a very fast move at around x12 till x16, where it doesn't look like a body moving on its own, but more like it's being pulled/pushed.
During the Ork's swing around x31, I would have the human lower his arm or put it closer to his body, just safer that what it is now, plus it makes him less passive.
The human's turn around is too fast. You go from the pose on x57, to 58, with no leading nor dragging, to x59, and then there's a sudden turn around. The arc of the body needs to be smooth out. The body also has a weird move/pop from x63, to 64, to 65. Big movement to 65, then no body movement from 66 to 69. That pause gives it the pose to pose feel. That feel continues once he takes the dagger out, throws it up, reaches for it, turns around a bit, then goes for the jump with very long hang time.
So check the body movements throughout the whole thing, smooth the pops out, make the motions more fluid as they go from pose to pose.
But again, it's a cool clip, but there is always room for improvement. :)
Cheers
JD
Overall it's really cool! Good to see some creature action for a change. Animation wise it feels a bit too pose to pose. I think you could make it more fluid.
Let's start with the Ork.
There is nice weight in the swing, but the body feels like it's moving in three separate timing blocks. First stop is around x19, second one stops around x26 (upper chest rotation in Y just stops), then the third block starts at around x30 with the upper swing. You can sense three stops during all this part. You can see it with the timing of the upper body, the arms, the weapon, etc.
I like the double bounce, nice little touch, but I would rotate the body back as he is doing that, throughout the whole swing down anticipation. So on x45, looking at that pose, you could push it and really arc his body back in a C curve, instead of having him straight up, from the leg up to the upper body.
The weapon has a weird bounce. On x60 it hits the ground, the goes up on x61 which is fine, but then goes down again for 3 frames. That gives it a soft finish, I think you could make that impact harder.
From the moment the Ork gets stabbed in the leg, you get that fragmented animation feel again. First his body rotates with a big movement in his arm, then his body and head go up, then the leg moves out, then he falls down, and stops suddenly at x96 (need more follow through with the head).
Once he looks up, the head stays locked again. It should follow the action of the human a bit more.
After he gets stabbed I would have him roar a bit sooner, pretty much after the impact. Here too it feels too separated. First the stab, then the scream.
But otherwise there is a lot of nice finger and toe detail.
Human:
Overall there are nice poses, but he feels even more segmented like the Ork, too pose to pose. In detail:
Body wise, there's a very fast move at around x12 till x16, where it doesn't look like a body moving on its own, but more like it's being pulled/pushed.
During the Ork's swing around x31, I would have the human lower his arm or put it closer to his body, just safer that what it is now, plus it makes him less passive.
The human's turn around is too fast. You go from the pose on x57, to 58, with no leading nor dragging, to x59, and then there's a sudden turn around. The arc of the body needs to be smooth out. The body also has a weird move/pop from x63, to 64, to 65. Big movement to 65, then no body movement from 66 to 69. That pause gives it the pose to pose feel. That feel continues once he takes the dagger out, throws it up, reaches for it, turns around a bit, then goes for the jump with very long hang time.
So check the body movements throughout the whole thing, smooth the pops out, make the motions more fluid as they go from pose to pose.
But again, it's a cool clip, but there is always room for improvement. :)
Cheers
JD
Critique - Sit Down
looking good, I like the changes you made to it.
The things I would add are:
- body wise, there's a weird move from x2 to x8, where the whole upper body goes forward, the head as well, and then the screen left leg goes back, so it's a weird move where everything happens at the same time and seems to move the same way, almost locked. It also feels like "Aaaand action!" and then he sits down. You could tweak his first pose a bit, for instance one of the arms, so it's not so defaulty and twinned. It would be better to on action a little bit. I would also offset the hand-pull-pants moment, so that one side starts earlier/later (just a tiny bit).
The timing of how the hands pull up the pants is good, but after that the hand look like they are sliding around until he lifts them.
His hand movement around x90 still feels a bit too linear and simple. You can give that wave much more character (nice finger pose though).
When he puts his leg over the other one, don't have it go through each other, and when the weight of one leg is on the other, around x60, have the other leg react to it, we need to feel the weight change.
Even though there is no sound, you could still animate his face a bit more, especially the mouth. Little changes as he sits down, when he waves, a bit more pantomime to show more of his character.
Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD
The things I would add are:
- body wise, there's a weird move from x2 to x8, where the whole upper body goes forward, the head as well, and then the screen left leg goes back, so it's a weird move where everything happens at the same time and seems to move the same way, almost locked. It also feels like "Aaaand action!" and then he sits down. You could tweak his first pose a bit, for instance one of the arms, so it's not so defaulty and twinned. It would be better to on action a little bit. I would also offset the hand-pull-pants moment, so that one side starts earlier/later (just a tiny bit).
The timing of how the hands pull up the pants is good, but after that the hand look like they are sliding around until he lifts them.
His hand movement around x90 still feels a bit too linear and simple. You can give that wave much more character (nice finger pose though).
When he puts his leg over the other one, don't have it go through each other, and when the weight of one leg is on the other, around x60, have the other leg react to it, we need to feel the weight change.
Even though there is no sound, you could still animate his face a bit more, especially the mouth. Little changes as he sits down, when he waves, a bit more pantomime to show more of his character.
Hope that helps!
Cheers
JD
Critique - Fish Balls
- little guy first. It's pretty good until around x117 (again, I need a frame counter). At that point it just stops cold and goes up and down in a very robotic way. You need to keep it smooth since it's underwater. The snap back needs a little anticipation. The turn around is also linear, you need to smooth out that curve.
Before all that there is something weird about that moment. The ball swims to the position at around x117. Then what is it doing there? It just stays there until the big fish enters frame. But the thing is, the little ball would see the big one a mile away. So it's weird that it just stays there, waits until the big ball is close and then gets scared. So the little ball would have to move around still and turn around to see the big ball which is right behind it. That way it would make sense that it gets scared.
I don't think the fish needs to crawl through the tube until the very end. It takes too long and you will lose the audience. You can have it go until the first 3rd and then squeeze out of a little hole. And instead of exiting screen right in that little corner, have it swim screen left since there is so much room. You could make it a bigger moment by having the little ball swim behind the big one, hit the big ones butt maybe, then swim away with pride since it outwitted the big guy.
Big Fish:
The squash you have around x223 is a bit weird. Is it maybe stretching to try to catch the little ball? Right now it's not clear what's going on.
You need to put the big fish more inside the tube. Find a way to wrap the tube around half the big ball.
Overall be careful in which axis you move the tail. Make it clear silhouette wise that the tail is wiggling. If you move it towards camera and away, it won't be as clear as up and down.
Before all that there is something weird about that moment. The ball swims to the position at around x117. Then what is it doing there? It just stays there until the big fish enters frame. But the thing is, the little ball would see the big one a mile away. So it's weird that it just stays there, waits until the big ball is close and then gets scared. So the little ball would have to move around still and turn around to see the big ball which is right behind it. That way it would make sense that it gets scared.
I don't think the fish needs to crawl through the tube until the very end. It takes too long and you will lose the audience. You can have it go until the first 3rd and then squeeze out of a little hole. And instead of exiting screen right in that little corner, have it swim screen left since there is so much room. You could make it a bigger moment by having the little ball swim behind the big one, hit the big ones butt maybe, then swim away with pride since it outwitted the big guy.
Big Fish:
The squash you have around x223 is a bit weird. Is it maybe stretching to try to catch the little ball? Right now it's not clear what's going on.
You need to put the big fish more inside the tube. Find a way to wrap the tube around half the big ball.
Overall be careful in which axis you move the tail. Make it clear silhouette wise that the tail is wiggling. If you move it towards camera and away, it won't be as clear as up and down.
Critique - Weight and polish
Here's another clip and the person was asking why the animation looks so spliney.
Almost yes, because you do need to move the keys around to tighten things up, but you still have to think about where and why. The movements need rhythm, it needs to have a sense of flow. So when he gets hit by the shoe at the end, have him take the hit, the when he's done with the movement screen left, hold that moment, because he's trying to make sense of that situation "Wait, what just happened? Did I get hit?", then have him turn around and look at the door because he realized what happened "SHE hit me!".
Kinda yes, because you do need to have holds and flattening the tangents will help, but you don't want to start flattening tangents left and right. You need to be very selective about the moments where nothing moves and even then, the body needs to have little drifts so that it doesn't look dead. Look at the previous critique on the class site for a good example of holds and keep alive.
Depends, because it all depends on your sense of timing and rhythm. So if you have a good understanding of that, it's just a technical fix, so it's small, but if you struggle with the concept and adjusting the timing, then it can be a major fix.
The funny thing is, the animation can reflect someones personality at times. If someone is very bouncy and animated in person, with big facial expression changes and stuff like that, it can show up in the animation. But of course not always and some people who are very slow, just down in terms of feeling and attitude, can create really alive and animated performances.
Hahaha, you don't HAVE to use the dry erase, "perfect arc" works as well. Whatever you prefer to use to track down your curves and arcs. I just like the dry erase because it's fast and simple.
Your workflow sounds good, there is nothing wrong there, but don't get too worked up over the technical side.
Act out your shot, get a feel for the timing. If you would act out your clip exactly the way you animated it, you would be able to tell what's wrong. So act it out, over and over again, film yourself and study the footage, but first just in terms of timing. Don't start picking it apart for animation details or stuff like that, just observe where you move and where you don't move. But really be in the moment and act it out. Don't pretend and shortcut moments, don't act it out in front of someone because people tend to talk and explain what they're doing instead of actually doing it.
That's a very good point. I've seen many examples where the blocking has great timing, but then the polished version lost its appeal. A lot of times it's because the holds you had, the pauses you get from animating linear or stepped, are gone due to all the spliney stuff (leaving you with the guy caressing his leg, from x262 to x280 - there's no need to have that hand move around like that, just put in on his leg, add some adjustment on his fingers, add some leg movement since there is added weight and pressure on it from this hand/arm, that's it). If the blocking is correct and your breakdowns are in place, the polish phase should only enhance the animation, get rid of sudden stops, add detail to facial expressions, fingers, contact points, give the overall moments the last little touch of rhythm and life. It's not there to change the timing. It reminds me of lunch, the days when I get the salad to go from the buffet. I put everything in a box. I know this is going to sound really weird... All the different things are in my box and that represents your blocking. All that is needed is the dressing. So I put that on top of the spots that need dressing. That's your polish. But what happens to many people is this: they close the box and start shaking it. Hey, the dressing/polish is everywhere, right? Makes it yummy. That's what you do, no? Put dressing over everything? Now it's all polished. Nope, you just made everything messy and lost the initial appeal of your work/salad. Only add dressing/polish where it is needed.
...
Ok, that comparison was really weird. But the moment of shaking my salad box just reminded me of how animation can get all messed up once you tweak your blocking too much. :)
Nevermind...
> so is it like a matter of timing?Absolutely. The reason why it feels so spliney is because everything is always moving, there are no holds, no pauses. The section that works the best is from x162 to x218 (roughly), because he lifts the suitcase and rests for a movement, which makes sense in that situation. But before and after you never feel like any body part gets a break, everything is always moving somehow, but not in a keep alive way, it's just too busy. By having everything move you don't create enough contrast, it makes the audience restless and then bored because there is nothing to focus on and it makes your character look like he's just a puppet and not a living, thinking being.
> So what should I be looking to do, technically... just move keys around to tight things up? Make the tangents flatter for holds? Is this like a small thing to fix or a major thing...?
Almost yes, kinda yes, and depends. :)
Almost yes, because you do need to move the keys around to tighten things up, but you still have to think about where and why. The movements need rhythm, it needs to have a sense of flow. So when he gets hit by the shoe at the end, have him take the hit, the when he's done with the movement screen left, hold that moment, because he's trying to make sense of that situation "Wait, what just happened? Did I get hit?", then have him turn around and look at the door because he realized what happened "SHE hit me!".
Kinda yes, because you do need to have holds and flattening the tangents will help, but you don't want to start flattening tangents left and right. You need to be very selective about the moments where nothing moves and even then, the body needs to have little drifts so that it doesn't look dead. Look at the previous critique on the class site for a good example of holds and keep alive.
Depends, because it all depends on your sense of timing and rhythm. So if you have a good understanding of that, it's just a technical fix, so it's small, but if you struggle with the concept and adjusting the timing, then it can be a major fix.
The funny thing is, the animation can reflect someones personality at times. If someone is very bouncy and animated in person, with big facial expression changes and stuff like that, it can show up in the animation. But of course not always and some people who are very slow, just down in terms of feeling and attitude, can create really alive and animated performances.
> I feel like I'm missing the last step of polishing.. like I don't know how to take it further. So... I start out with all the blocking steps you went over... reference, block a pose every 5 frames or so, tangents on linear... then move keys around so I like the timing. Then blocking plus, add more keys for in betweens, if needed. Then for polishing.. the tools I use are... the graph editor and "perfect arc." Ok I know what your going to say... dry erase marker. Is that all I'm missing? maybe.... ok im going to go out and buy one right now.
Hahaha, you don't HAVE to use the dry erase, "perfect arc" works as well. Whatever you prefer to use to track down your curves and arcs. I just like the dry erase because it's fast and simple.
Your workflow sounds good, there is nothing wrong there, but don't get too worked up over the technical side.
Act out your shot, get a feel for the timing. If you would act out your clip exactly the way you animated it, you would be able to tell what's wrong. So act it out, over and over again, film yourself and study the footage, but first just in terms of timing. Don't start picking it apart for animation details or stuff like that, just observe where you move and where you don't move. But really be in the moment and act it out. Don't pretend and shortcut moments, don't act it out in front of someone because people tend to talk and explain what they're doing instead of actually doing it.
> Oh I know a lecture topic I'd like to hear about... maybe you could elaborate on the "polishing" step of your workflow? I think that's where I get messed up. I think my timing is better in my blocking phase and then things get a little messy when I try to polish.
That's a very good point. I've seen many examples where the blocking has great timing, but then the polished version lost its appeal. A lot of times it's because the holds you had, the pauses you get from animating linear or stepped, are gone due to all the spliney stuff (leaving you with the guy caressing his leg, from x262 to x280 - there's no need to have that hand move around like that, just put in on his leg, add some adjustment on his fingers, add some leg movement since there is added weight and pressure on it from this hand/arm, that's it). If the blocking is correct and your breakdowns are in place, the polish phase should only enhance the animation, get rid of sudden stops, add detail to facial expressions, fingers, contact points, give the overall moments the last little touch of rhythm and life. It's not there to change the timing. It reminds me of lunch, the days when I get the salad to go from the buffet. I put everything in a box. I know this is going to sound really weird... All the different things are in my box and that represents your blocking. All that is needed is the dressing. So I put that on top of the spots that need dressing. That's your polish. But what happens to many people is this: they close the box and start shaking it. Hey, the dressing/polish is everywhere, right? Makes it yummy. That's what you do, no? Put dressing over everything? Now it's all polished. Nope, you just made everything messy and lost the initial appeal of your work/salad. Only add dressing/polish where it is needed.
...
Ok, that comparison was really weird. But the moment of shaking my salad box just reminded me of how animation can get all messed up once you tweak your blocking too much. :)
Nevermind...
Critique - Dialogue
It looks already very good, here my 2 cents:
Screen right woman:
let's start with the root/body. When she lifts her arms from the beginning until around x12, you could straight/rotate back her upper body a bit. Not a lot though, just a little more back so she gets a straighter torso, instead of only having the screen left rotation you got now. That way you can compress the body again when she lowers her arms to x21.
The body seems to stop too much at around x67 when she looks back to the cop. Ease more into that stop, so it's not that abrupt.
The hips seem a bit locked, it would be neat to adjust them during her little weight shifts. For instance, when she goes down at around x45, she could lean on her left leg, which would have that side of the hip go up a bit. There are other little moments where you could do that. Another bigger moment would be around x205 when she comes back after leaning on the cop. First around x199 the screen lift hip could be a bit higher since she's going down and the weight is on that leg and when the other leg touches the ground around x205, the hips could adjust to that side and back. Nothing huge, just acknowledge the weight shifts.
The main thing that stuck out to me with the head was the movement at around x58 when she looks to the cop. The body and the head move at the same time, I would lead it with the head. Then same problem occurs with the head just like the body, it stops very quickly. I would overshoot the head a bit.
When the cop moves after x71, it's a big mass moving screen left, so I would acknowledge that with having her head follow that movement. Nothing big, but right now it's a bit locked during that section, so just add a little head movement, as if she was tracking the cop.
After x165 the head is locked again until around x196. When she's trying to read the pad, definitely adjust her eyes so she actually looks at the pad(more on that later), but involve the head as well. She can rotate her head back on the move up and once she sees the pad you can move her head down and move it like she's scanning the pad. Once again, keep it subtle.
Lastly, I really like how she puts her hand on her face at the end. Since she's really pushing her face down, you could rotate the head counter clockwise from x292 to around x297, showing how the hand is pushing the head a bit.
Her arms: tiny thing, might not be a huge difference, but try it. :) Around x149, when her left arm swings screen right, before she leans over to the cop, feels a bit slow, I would accent that movement a bit more, make it a tiny bit faster, so it doesn't feel like something dead following the body for pure overlap intentions. That arm also gets a tiny bit floaty around x184.
Both arms and hand: when she moves her elbows in and arms down after x95 to x98, I would adjust her hands as well, rotate them more with the arms. They feel too separate during that movement. It's very visible looking at the screen left hand/arm.
I would also lessen the rotation on the screen left hand from x1 to x3. It's too much of a broken wrist and when the arm goes up and the wrist goes down, it looks like it's pivoting from the fingers.
Speaking of fingers, I wouldn't rotate them side to side as much, especially the pinky on x7. Both of them look like they're broken. Keep the shape simple and tuck in that pinky.
The screen left hand rotation from x19 to x20 is huge. The write is open and fingers are out, next frame the wrist is holding the other one and the fingers are cupped around it. Give that movement at least one more frame.
Back to the eyes. When she is reading the pad around x178, make sure she is actually looking at it.
I think "...spot..." could get bigger emphasis lipsync and jaw wise. There's a jaw pop around x65. During "I dont' have...", around x110 to x112 the lips get pinched, it's a weird shape it transitions into. On x261, the upper lip feels pinched in, it's an odd shape. After she leans back to around x218, you have do all those body movements while she hears how much she owes (in body, hands, eyebrows, etc.), but not in the mouth. I would have her mouth a little bit open, as this moment progresses, every time she cringes, close her mouth more to a point where she's really closing it with her lips as well.
Now the cop lady:
you mentioned last time that you haven't worked on her as much, so I don't know if this clip you sent me still reflects that. Overall I would say she feels less polished than the other woman. The movements are more linear and poppy.
For instance her head turn ending around x12 feels very liner, both in terms of arc and timing. Same goes for the head turn back. You don't need crazy movement, but just have more keep alive and ease more in and out of your movements. Although her bigger movement starting at x60 to x109 is nice (I would rotate her read clockwise during the move around x72, so that she drags her head a bit more, right now the body and head move too much in sync). But then the movement from around x110 to x119 feels very linear again. She's a bigger person, so there's more mass, which means it will take more effort on her part to move those masses. I'm not saying that you have her movements be really slow like a giant walking around, but if the movements are too fast and poppy (like during the x186 part), you take away from her weight. Even adding two frame cushions can help, it will still be cartoony enough. And by having her movements be more fluid you will add more contrast to her poppy moves when she tells her the amount of money. That part works for me because of her attitude and it makes that moment stand out more (better contrast).
When she moves her right arm at x39, I would ease out more by adding finger and wrist movement before the whole arm moves (you can also add tiny fingers moves during the head turn at the very beginning, so they are not so dead). Once she moves that arm, I would add more body rotation. Right now just her arm moves, which feels too separate to me, especially with her mass. The linear movement is also visible when she lowers her pad around x198. Soften those moments across the whole body, everything stops very quickly. Same with the move up on x276. Both are very linear again in terms of arcs and timing.
I would add more business to the fingers that hold the pad. For instance when she starts writing on it, because of the pressure she puts on, the fingers could tighten. Same when the other woman puts her hand on her arm.
All in all, coming along very nicely!
Screen right woman:
let's start with the root/body. When she lifts her arms from the beginning until around x12, you could straight/rotate back her upper body a bit. Not a lot though, just a little more back so she gets a straighter torso, instead of only having the screen left rotation you got now. That way you can compress the body again when she lowers her arms to x21.
The body seems to stop too much at around x67 when she looks back to the cop. Ease more into that stop, so it's not that abrupt.
The hips seem a bit locked, it would be neat to adjust them during her little weight shifts. For instance, when she goes down at around x45, she could lean on her left leg, which would have that side of the hip go up a bit. There are other little moments where you could do that. Another bigger moment would be around x205 when she comes back after leaning on the cop. First around x199 the screen lift hip could be a bit higher since she's going down and the weight is on that leg and when the other leg touches the ground around x205, the hips could adjust to that side and back. Nothing huge, just acknowledge the weight shifts.
The main thing that stuck out to me with the head was the movement at around x58 when she looks to the cop. The body and the head move at the same time, I would lead it with the head. Then same problem occurs with the head just like the body, it stops very quickly. I would overshoot the head a bit.
When the cop moves after x71, it's a big mass moving screen left, so I would acknowledge that with having her head follow that movement. Nothing big, but right now it's a bit locked during that section, so just add a little head movement, as if she was tracking the cop.
After x165 the head is locked again until around x196. When she's trying to read the pad, definitely adjust her eyes so she actually looks at the pad(more on that later), but involve the head as well. She can rotate her head back on the move up and once she sees the pad you can move her head down and move it like she's scanning the pad. Once again, keep it subtle.
Lastly, I really like how she puts her hand on her face at the end. Since she's really pushing her face down, you could rotate the head counter clockwise from x292 to around x297, showing how the hand is pushing the head a bit.
Her arms: tiny thing, might not be a huge difference, but try it. :) Around x149, when her left arm swings screen right, before she leans over to the cop, feels a bit slow, I would accent that movement a bit more, make it a tiny bit faster, so it doesn't feel like something dead following the body for pure overlap intentions. That arm also gets a tiny bit floaty around x184.
Both arms and hand: when she moves her elbows in and arms down after x95 to x98, I would adjust her hands as well, rotate them more with the arms. They feel too separate during that movement. It's very visible looking at the screen left hand/arm.
I would also lessen the rotation on the screen left hand from x1 to x3. It's too much of a broken wrist and when the arm goes up and the wrist goes down, it looks like it's pivoting from the fingers.
Speaking of fingers, I wouldn't rotate them side to side as much, especially the pinky on x7. Both of them look like they're broken. Keep the shape simple and tuck in that pinky.
The screen left hand rotation from x19 to x20 is huge. The write is open and fingers are out, next frame the wrist is holding the other one and the fingers are cupped around it. Give that movement at least one more frame.
Back to the eyes. When she is reading the pad around x178, make sure she is actually looking at it.
I think "...spot..." could get bigger emphasis lipsync and jaw wise. There's a jaw pop around x65. During "I dont' have...", around x110 to x112 the lips get pinched, it's a weird shape it transitions into. On x261, the upper lip feels pinched in, it's an odd shape. After she leans back to around x218, you have do all those body movements while she hears how much she owes (in body, hands, eyebrows, etc.), but not in the mouth. I would have her mouth a little bit open, as this moment progresses, every time she cringes, close her mouth more to a point where she's really closing it with her lips as well.
Now the cop lady:
you mentioned last time that you haven't worked on her as much, so I don't know if this clip you sent me still reflects that. Overall I would say she feels less polished than the other woman. The movements are more linear and poppy.
For instance her head turn ending around x12 feels very liner, both in terms of arc and timing. Same goes for the head turn back. You don't need crazy movement, but just have more keep alive and ease more in and out of your movements. Although her bigger movement starting at x60 to x109 is nice (I would rotate her read clockwise during the move around x72, so that she drags her head a bit more, right now the body and head move too much in sync). But then the movement from around x110 to x119 feels very linear again. She's a bigger person, so there's more mass, which means it will take more effort on her part to move those masses. I'm not saying that you have her movements be really slow like a giant walking around, but if the movements are too fast and poppy (like during the x186 part), you take away from her weight. Even adding two frame cushions can help, it will still be cartoony enough. And by having her movements be more fluid you will add more contrast to her poppy moves when she tells her the amount of money. That part works for me because of her attitude and it makes that moment stand out more (better contrast).
When she moves her right arm at x39, I would ease out more by adding finger and wrist movement before the whole arm moves (you can also add tiny fingers moves during the head turn at the very beginning, so they are not so dead). Once she moves that arm, I would add more body rotation. Right now just her arm moves, which feels too separate to me, especially with her mass. The linear movement is also visible when she lowers her pad around x198. Soften those moments across the whole body, everything stops very quickly. Same with the move up on x276. Both are very linear again in terms of arcs and timing.
I would add more business to the fingers that hold the pad. For instance when she starts writing on it, because of the pressure she puts on, the fingers could tighten. Same when the other woman puts her hand on her arm.
All in all, coming along very nicely!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
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